Boob Bomb

28 Sep

Well, I had my echocardiogram done this morning and it was an interesting experience. My weird little artist brain can’t help but find all of the strange ultrasound images exciting and the tech performing my test was really cool and burned a CD of my heart for me! Aside from being really visually stimulating, I must say the ordeal was a little more embarrassing that I expected it to be.

I knew I would have to undress from the waist up and don a gown and I knew there would be some breast juggling under said gown but there was one thing I didn’t expect. It seems the table used for this sort of ultrasound has a little section that drops out so that the technician can get a good image of the left side of your heart. What they have you do is roll onto your left side and then drop this section of table away so they can get the image from under the table looking up at your heart. The embarrassing part happened when my giant FF cup tit crashed through the whole left in the table by that section dropping away as if it were a cartoon bomb being dropped out of a B52 bomber by a gremlin on a fucking Bugs Bunny cartoon!

My husband (Big Orange) was in the room with me and I could tell this looked as horrible as I felt by how quickly and far his eyebrows shot up. What made it worse was the fact that as the tech joggled my left breast around getting the ultrasound wand pointed in just the right spot it kept peeking out from under the edge of my gown. Poor Big Orange did his best to compose himself but once the tech left the room he lost it. I was mortified but couldn’t help laughing. It was an all around eye-opening experience.

The good news is that my doctor called this afternoon to let me know that she got the echocardiogram results and my heart is in fine working order with no fluid around it; this is super awesome because this means that she is going to let me work at losing weight on my own for six months before doing more testing for sleep apnea (which I am sure I do not have anyway). She also got the results back from my thyroid tests and they were normal as well. The only test that she is still waiting on is my vitamin D level but I have been tested before and already know I have a vitamin D deficiency (just like almost everyone else in the Pacific NW).

So what does all this mean??? Well it means that we still don’t know why in the hell my left leg has been getting so swollen but I do not appear to be suffering from any serious and immediately life threatening conditions. So YAY! Other than the Ramsay Hunt Syndrome bullshit that I already deal with on a regular basis I am pretty darned healthy on the whole. The last few weeks have really scared the shit out of me and I feel like they have been a wake-up call. This isn’t going to be easy, especially given my physical challenges, but I feel like I have been given a chance to make my life better and fer the love of fuck I am going to do it!

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Posted by on September 28, 2012 in So this happened today...


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Riding the waves of dual-diagnosis as a parent.

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