I am terribly busy today, and am recovering from a rather unpleasant mole removal procedure I had done on Tuesday, so I am not really feeling particularly amorous this morning (although that could also have to do with the giant, suffocating fart and resulting fit of giggles I was awakened by). That doesn’t mean I am not going to let this sweet little holiday pass without recognition though… I have plans to make a heart-shaped meatloaf for my two favorite men tonight and I might bake a healthy cake or something. I also wanted to acknowledge the holiday here in blog town so I am reposting a classic from the original Evil Seamstress archives. This was posted on February, 9th, 2011 under the title “Don’t make the little, chubby, winged, archer in diapers cry!”; I am off to do homework and put away a mountain of laundry, so I hope you enjoy and I hope you all have a Happy Fucking Valentine’s Day!
Oh, and P.S. I weighed in this morning and I am down 7 pounds total in two weeks WOOT!
I really should be doing my homework right now but I am feeling distracted. In truth, I am sure my frustration has a lot more to do with the fact that I am having trouble making Adobe Illustrator do what I want than with Valentine’s Day naysayers, but considering the fact that computer programs have proven they don’t give two shits about human rants time and again, I have decided to take all my frustrations out on my Cupid bashing friends.
In the last three days I have witnessed no fewer than 20 people bitterly impose their anti-Valentine rhetoric upon the social media using world at large and have grown very weary of it all. Of these snarky, black-hearted, little tantrum throwers, only one person has been honest enough to come out and say that they are not looking forward to the holiday because they don’t have a Valentine this year (and has therefore been removed from the “snarky, black-hearted, little tantrum thrower” category).
If you are bitter and/or upset because you don’t have a special person in your world then by all means, shrug your affection craving shoulders at the world and ignore the festivities! Who wants to celebrate a holiday that mocks the single and brokenhearted when you are single and/or brokenhearted? The only issue I have with those who don’t want to acknowledge the one day a year we humans set aside specifically for love and romance is the fact that a lot of these people make an effort to crap on it for those who do choose to celebrate it.
Now, I have been with my husband for almost ten years and we have been married for nearly seven of those years… in all honesty, we really don’t do much for Valentine’s Day anymore. I am sure my husband will probably bring home some sort of sweet treat for the household to share but when you live together 365 days of the year, you tend to take romance when it pops up and not worry about it between romantic interludes. That being said, I still fully endorse the festivities! In fact, the only problem I have with Valentine’s Day is the fact that we often spend a lot of energy showering our loved ones with affection on this day when we should remember to let others know how we feel about them every day.
My biggest peeve with this streaming tirade of anti-Valentine sentiment is with those who insist on claiming that Valentine’s Day is a holiday made up by Hallmark and other greeting card companies… Although I will admit that the greeting card, candy, food service, and retail industries on the whole have all managed to solidify a pretty strong foothold in the marketing of and profit to be made from this lover’s holiday, Valentine’s Day’s historical trail has always been well documented. In fact, before making blanket and unfounded claims/statements that ultimately just color those making them bitter asses; I would think that one might utilize the abundance of reference available via the World Wide Web. In mere seconds you can access countless pages regarding the history of any and everything you have ever wanted to know about.
This being finals season for me, I really must get back to my homework and don’t have time to produce a reasonably though-out and properly edited manifesto regarding the history of Valentine’s Day, but I will provide a reliable link to a site where anyone who chooses can read one prepared by an actual historical researcher/writer. http://www.history.com/topics/valentines-day
I also feel I should point out that anyone who takes issue with the commercialization of the holiday can very easily fight the man by doing things such as creating homemade Valentines for their loved ones; cooking a nice homemade meal, performing a good and unasked for deed for another, or just being fucking nice! If you are going to boycott a holiday simply based on its commercialization then you can’t cherry pick holidays. It isn’t like Valentine’s Day is the only commercial holiday with historically significant roots. Santa beats Cupid in every aspect of commercial promotions (yes, even in greeting card sales). If you are going to go around wielding your ideals like a caged chimpanzee flings shit, then you had best be doing your homework and showing some consistency in the righteous belief system you so indignantly tout. That is right… I don’t want to see any of you anti-Valentine’s Day people in the Kell’s beer garden come St. Patty’s Day, and I especially don’t want to see any of you attending Halloween parties.
I want to make the fact that I feel all people are free to think what they will perfect y clear. I could care less if you dance naked around a giant cinnamon Gummy Bear with Red Vines shoved up your ass every February 14th (they really make giant Gummy Bears! Have you seen them? CREEPY!). If you don’t want to celebrate, then please don’t. But I put the rambling of the bitterly disheartened; all conspiracy theorists, and the plain old stupid right alongside the proselytizing and pontificating of any other of the sycophantic nut jobs who threaten the spirit of peace on earth and good will toward all by their very existence. In other words, QUIT RAINING ON EVERYONE’S PARADE!!!!!
Believe what you believe and let those who prefer a light-hearted good time, and an excellent excuse to throw a bit more love into a love starved world, celebrate their day. And if you are sad and lonely seeing the festivities but not feeling a part of them, you can always buy yourself a card and make a trip to Fantasy Adult Video… nothing wrong with loving yourself.