So I have decided that I am going to keep a daily/weekly journal chronicling my progress on reversing my diagnosis of type II diabetes. The plan is to do a paragraph or two a day, each week, for 12 weeks. This is how long I have to reverse the situation before my doctor starts talking medications. I have been having a lot of surprising emotions about this and I think that keeping a little daily log will be somewhat illuminating in regards to the source of my anxiety. I also feel like it will serve to keep me on track and honest with myself, and it will give me a healthy outlet/chance to laugh as I plug through this.
First things first… I think I need a special code name for this. I believe I shall call it “Operation Brimley Crusher”. That feels a little blah, but it made me giggle so I am going to keep it for now. Anyway, each week I will post my daily journal entries along with a short recap of the week’s issues and moments of awesome. I may eventually find that the daily journal is a bit daunting and decided to just switch to a weekly journal. For now I think I need to keep in touch with myself on a daily basis. So yeah, I guess this is my first week.
OMFG! Scratch that shit back there about writing a paragraph a day and then posting it all here! I wrote that last Thursday, and I did keep the journal for the first three or four days, but then I looked at it and realized that nobody wants to read that many fucking details of my daily life. I DON’T EVEN WANT TO READ IT! Also, I have too much shit to do! Like, you know, reverse the “diabetus” (Seriously, all I can here is Wilford Brimley talking about his diabetus in my head). So this is what I decided. Each week I will post a summary of high points and low points, and I will update on the weight loss progress. Some weeks my posts will probably be longer than others; some will be more serious than others, but I will post each week (for all the reasons listed above).
This week’s lows:
There was an ugly incident with a chocolate bunny on Thursday. Poor little dude never saw it coming. It was a serious case of stress eating. I spent the rest of the night beating myself up pretty badly. I even considered trying to make myself barf it up, but hey, we don’t need to go down that road, and I can’t make myself barf anyway (how the fuck do people do that???).
I have had at least one mild anxiety attack a day since I got my diagnosis last Wednesday. The first few were immediately after eating a meal, the rest are happening when I am sitting, thinking about life; the future, the past, and mostly shit I have no control of. I can see that I will not make it through this without some counseling. I use to smoke when I got wound up about things. Then when I quit, I started eating. Now that I am trying to get the eating under control just don’t know what to do with all of the feelings. Blerg. Feelings. What a pain in the ass.
Speaking of feelings and asses, Big Orange as been pretty full of complaints about the healthy meals I have been trying to make. He has been grumpy with me most of the week. He is still pissed off about me replacing pasta with zucchini cut into strips like noodles last Wednesday… that man can hold a grudge.
This week’s moments of awesome:
I started doing “gentle yoga” and it feels pretty awesome. I have done it every day in the last week with the exception of Sunday. The dog and the cat like to wallow around on the floor and watch me while I am doing yoga. It is pretty sweet and it makes me feel good. I have also been good about going to aqua aerobics. I am sore and tired and I have needed to nap every afternoon, but I do feel good. I have had some pretty awesome words of encouragement from friends this week and I am feeling rad about that. OH! Ross finally got some bathing suits in. I got two new bathing suits. That should last me through the summer. The chlorine in the public pool sure wears them out quickly. I now have three to rotate. I am hoping that I need to go down a size sooner than later so why invest a ton of money!
This week’s Progress:
I am not measuring inches yet. Inches are too upsetting. I am however, measuring pounds, and I am down 8.1 bitches!!! There is always a big loss in the first couple of weeks… I am sure I have lost quite a bit of water, but a loss like this tells me that I am doing shit right for sure!