Sometimes Shit Happens (sometimes it doesn’t)

15 May

All in all I would say this has been a good week, but kinda weird at the same time. I like the format I used last week, wherein I listed my highs and lows first, then jibber-jabbered about stuff. I think I will keep doing that. Although, I am over the silly name I gave my mission so I will no longer be including it in my titles. It was fun while it lasted.


This Week’s Moments of Sucktitude:

I have been constipated on a level that I haven’t experienced since recovering from the cesarean delivery of my son, almost 19 years ago. It is not awesome. Not even a little.
I got a tattoo last week, which is super awesome, but I haven’t been able to go to water aerobics during the healing process. This in combination with our totally fucked up and strange May heat wave, and a bout of insomnia, have all but decimated my motivation to be active this week.

Mother’s Day weekend was hard for me within the food context. I did OK as far as keeping in my calorie goals. There were a couple of days that I went over, and one that I went 200 over, but considering that I have my loss goals set at 1.5 pounds a week, which mean that I have about 1400 calories a day, I am not super worried about going over a bit. What I am worried about is fighting the temptation to eat things that aren’t that great for me. Sunday I splurged and had a Starbucks pastry with my sugar free London Fog Latte. I feel like this triggered a new wave of craving sweets. This reached a climax on Monday night when I had my first late night binge eating session since this whole thing started about a month ago. I was so ashamed I didn’t even log it in my food journal.

All in all, I have been feeling pretty down this week.


This Week’s Moments of Awesome:

I got a new tattoo! Well, technically, I got an old tattoo touched up and then added to it, and got a small tattoo on my left index finger as well. I am pretty excited about that.

Mother’s Day was rad. My son took me out and bought me a new sewing machine (Big Orange paid for it) and took me out for pho on Saturday. My mom and brother came up on Sunday and we had brunch, went to the farmer’s market, and then went to a really cool junk store. It was a great weekend.

I was very shocked that despite all of my little setbacks and hang-ups this week, I still lost a tiny bit of weight; which is better than gaining, so I will take it.


This Week’s Progress:

I lost 0.02 pounds this week. Considering that this has been my week of the month to get bloated and have zits (if ya know what I mean), I have been incredibly swollen from this heat, and I didn’t have a very good week food wise, I will take that 0.02 pounds and feel OK about it. That makes my total 9.9 pounds.


On to the jibber-jabber…

For the first time in close to 35 years, I felt compelled to call my mom into the bathroom and show her my poop. The fact that my mom was at my house for mother’s day made doing so very convenient. Before I go any further, I should warn you, there is going to be a lot of poop talking happening (so if you are upset by that then you should probably stop here). I am not going to get too descriptive about the physical aspects of the poop, but I will say that I found it necessary to purchase two new plungers on Monday (we had one for each bathroom already but they are quite old and have cracked).

I have done a little research about it and it appears that a change in diet can bring about constipation. Truthfully, I have always been prone to it and I am not sure why. I can vividly remember having issues when I was a little kid, but rarely as bad as this. I find it odd that eating so many fruits and vegetables (more than my daily allowance on some days), eating whole grains, drinking at least 64 ounces of water daily (almost two liters), and increasing my activity level would result in works being so backed up, but I guess it is fairly common. As is typical for me, it seems to be a case of too much too soon.

I finally broke down and got a stool softener. I started with taking just one a night before bed. As of last night I have increased it to two. It says one-three… we will see how this goes. If my “Lady Poo Pills” (thank Big Orange for that little gem) don’t work I am going to have to call my doctor. I have been hoping to not see her for the duration of the three months she has given me to reverse the type II diabetes, but fuck, a girl has got to shit!!!

Look, I wasn’t going to bring this shit up folks (ha, see what I did there?), but this is the ugly side of trying to get your body back into good working order when you haven’t been taking care of it. It feels a bit like a two steps forward, one step back sort of deal. I actually can’t believe I am writing about this publicly as I have spent the better portion of my adult life making fun of my mother for what I like to call her “State of the Bowels Address”. Does this mean I am officially old, this writing about poop? Anyway, I will update you all on how this pans out next week. Keep your fingers crossed for me! I can’t take much more of this not pooping business!


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Riding the waves of dual-diagnosis as a parent.

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