Limited but Joyous Moments of Gut Wrenching Success

22 May

Since I finished last week’s post by shoving a giant serving of TMI down your throats, I thought I would begin this week with a little update on that situation. I mean, it is the least I can you… I know ya’ll have been terribly concerned about the state of my bowels all week (heh). Things are going a little better but my body is still not performing optimally when it comes to the pooping. I will talk a little more about this and a few other things while/after recapping this week’s highs and lows for you.


This Week’s Moments of Sucktitude:

I have spent the week trying to figure out how to get the poop machine going. I have seen limited but joyous moments of gut wrenching success (literally and figuratively). As much as I hate the stuff, I think I am going to have to employ the use of some Meta-mucil along with the “lady poo pills”. Great, my medicine cabinet officially will look like the one at my mom and grandma’s house.

I have been sleeping really shitty again. Three to five hours a night isn’t enough. The only real change is my morning coffee. But it is decaf and I drink 12 oz with breakfast and that is it. It shouldn’t be keeping me up. I noticed this got worse over the ten days I slacked off of working out after I got my tattoo done. I also noticed my mood take a dive during that time. That is what I get for sitting on my ass and letting myself make excuses.


This Week’s Moments of Awesome:

We had a really nice time visiting with family on Sunday. I like it when people come to see us instead of us driving all over hells half acre. We went out to eat and I was able to stay well within my calorie restrictions. That was pretty rad. especially since the place we ate has a lot of pretty high calorie options.

I got back to the pool on Monday and it felt great! I have been good about getting exercise daily since then. I am trying to allow myself to work out as much as I feel like can in each day without pushing myself too far or succumbing to negative self talk if I don’t do as much as I think I should. It seems to be working so far. My mood has been pretty good.

Making Progress, Bitches!

I lost 4 lbs this week! I knew I had some water retention going on last week… I am feeling less puffy. Whew! So the big news is that today marks the end of the first month of the three months my doctor gave me to reverse my type II diabetes diagnosis. So as of this morning I have lost 13.9 lbs! Off to a pretty awesome start I would say! Woot!


On to the jibber-jabber…

I have been having a lot of profound thoughts lately. I would like to write about them but honestly, I am still processing this shit.  What I will say is that I feel like I have been having a lot of what that crazy Oprah calls “ha-ha moments”. The problem with all of this is that it is very stressful and I am clearly not so great at stress management. So I did some looking around for low cost counseling option in my area and found a program that charges $15 a week. It may take a while before I am ready/able to lay down some Deep Thoughts all Jack Handy style, but I am looking forward to doing some work on the inside of my head.

What I will talk about this week is the fact that people are starting to ask what I am doing to lose weight as a result of these posts. Most are genuinely curious or want tips and advice, but there are those few… You know, the ones who ask you what you are doing in an accusatory tone? As if you are sacrificing babies to create a weight loss potion from boiling their soft little brains in the juice of seventy pomegranates and a giant tropical mushroom so rare you had to have it smuggled into the country up the ass of a rabid ox… Or you are running off to the bathroom to make yourself puke after every meal. Then there are those who think you must be doing some crazy fad diet and you couldn’t possibly be having results if you aren’t doing a crazy fad diet. Especially if it isn’t the crazy fad diet they believe works best. Or the ones who just act like they are offended that you are trying to lose weight; as if it has anything to do with them (my friend Sharon calls those types “Hector Projectors”).

To all those people who have made me feel less that awesome, screw off. To all those people who genuinely want to know what I am doing, this is it:

I am using common sense and what I know about nutrition through my prior work experience, and the nutrition class I took in college. That is it. There is no easy way to lose weight. There is no trick. It is hard fucking work and it sucks. But that is all there is to it. You have to work hard and do a bunch of shit that you don’t want to do. So here are the things that make it easier for me.


Portion size is a big problem for me so I measure every single thing that I put on my plate. I read the package labels, or use the charts available on to know what proper serving sizes are. And then I either weight it or measure it out. Everything. The picture above is of the weighing and measuring station I set up where I prep my meals. In the picture you will see a digital food scale, you can get one for cheap any store that carries house wears and kitchen stuff (mine is a Weight Watchers brand because I got it with a promo when I tried Weight Watchers last year). A set of measuring cups and measuring spoons (if you are a grown up, you already have these), and a liquid measuring cup. There is also a 16 oz drinking glass but we will get to that in a few. It is that simple. Measure out your servings so you actually know how many calories you are eating (and how much of each food group you are eating).

Along with measuring my food, I also log every single thing that goes into my face hole. I use the My Fitness Pal app on my phone (I also use the web site on occasion, especially if I want to add a recipe I made). You don’t have to do this. You can get a journal or a pad of paper to track your food on but I personally feel that tracking your food and beverage intake is very important. Not only does it help you know how many calories you have eaten, it also holds you accountable for what you are putting in your body. I prefer using the My Fitness Pal tracker because it has a huge database of foods and a bar code scanner that all make it really easy to find the foods you are eating. It also has a recipe builder so you can know exactly how many calories are in the recipes you cook at home. If you want to by my buddy on My Fitness Pal my user name is “flappymcp”, you can search for me that way.

Also, READ YOUR LABELS! Look at how much sugar and sodium is in the foods you buy. I use as few processed foods as is possible for our family. I incorporate fresh fruits and vegetables into every meal. I eat whole grains. I try to limit the amount of wheat eat (but I am not going to get all glutarded about it). I eat steel cut oats for breakfast (Bob’s Red Mill is my favorite brand) 4-6 days a week. I replace pasta with spaghetti squash or zucchini as often as I can. Eat plenty of lean proteins like chicken and fish (and even a little pork). But I am no super woman. I still buy pasta sauce and salsa in a jar. I buy cold cereals; and dairy products, and breads, and even an occasional treat. But I read the labels on that food and I do my very best to buy the healthiest products I can. This means I look for the foods with the lowest sodium and sugar content that also have the fewest ingredients, and I try to stay away from hydrogenated oils and corn syrup.


I exercise. Sometimes it is hard to get motivated to do it. Some days I don’t enjoy doing it. But I exercise as often as I can. Now this is where I hear a lot of “but I can’t” or “but I don’t have much time”. Fuck off and make the time. That is all I have to say about that. I am 41 years old and I attend a water aerobics class three days a week with women my mother and grandmother’s age. In the picture above you are looking at what I must do to safely get in a Wii Fit stair stepping session done. Yes, that is a walker. And yes, that is a generic food storage container taped to it with camouflage duct tape. That is my home made water bottle holder, yo! This is what I must do to be safe because I have a physical disability. If I fall when I am stepping up and down that balance board while I am home alone, well, it wouldn’t be great. My point is that I make it work. Some days my body doesn’t want to let me do as much as I would like, and I am still learning how far I can push my body without causing a setback that puts me in bed for two days (like I did the first week I started my gentle yoga practice and decided that jumping into a daily practice was a great idea). If I can do this shit, so can you! You don’t have to do what I am doing. Do what can do; even if it is just walking around the block a few times a day. It will get easier, I promise.

And I drink water. Back to that drinking glass in the first picture real quick. That is a 16 oz glass. I leave that glass on my counter and every day when I prepare my meals, I fill it up and I drink it all before eating. Not only does this fill my stomach before I put food in it, it aids in digestion. Doing this with all three of my major meals a day also means that I have six of that at least eight ounces a day I need taken care of. I drink another 16 oz water bottle when I do a workout. I drink water ice water with my lunch and my dinner. And I sip water throughout the day. I even keep a water bottle on my night stand so I can sip at night if I need to.

This is a daily struggle for me and I have a long way to go before I reach my goal weight. If this were an easy process no one who didn’t want to be overweight would be overweight. I have struggled with this for nearly 20 years and I am done. I want to be healthy and I want to feel good in my body again. So even though it is hard… much harder than quitting smoking even! I am going to tough it out and do it because I know I can and I know that the hard way is the only way. I am no expert. I am not a doctor. But I do know enough about nutrition to understand how all of this works. I hope this is helpful to those of you who asked because they genuinely want to know what I am doing in hopes of learning something new. And the rest of you can choke on a bag of dicks.

Oh! One more thing! I am thinking of adding a “recipes and tips” section to this blog. What do you all think of that? I wouldn’t keep up on it weekly like I do with my regular posts, but I would just add recipes I like to make, or tips I have picked up, when I have a moment to spare or I think you all would enjoy what I have to share. So yeah, do I add a “Recipes, Tips, and Other Shit” section to this blog? Whew! I have got to get to bed. I didn’t mean for this to be quite so jibber-jabbery!


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Riding the waves of dual-diagnosis as a parent.

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