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Moment of Truth #1, Bitches!

14 Jul

Hi! It has been a while since I last posted anything here, like a month or so (I believe). I kindof got tired of myself and needed a little break. Let’s see… what has been going on in my world for the month or so I have been absent… Big Orange and I took a trip to Seattle by train for our 10th wedding anniversary weekend. It was a blast! My son traded rooms with me so I have a HUGE studio now (well, compared to the room that is now his bedroom it is huge). I got caught up on all my housework, and I am getting ready to have a garage sale.

In addition to all that fun stuff, I started seeing a counselor. I believe I may have mentioned this a while back but didn’t go into much detail. I guess I am not sure how to handle that topic here on this blog. I guess just admitting that I have been seeking help is enough for right now. I do feel it is important to talk about it here because I don’t think it is anything to be ashamed of and it directly relates to my overall health, but I am not sure how much to talk about it. We will see… one of the issues I am working on is stress/emotional eating and trying to assemble a set of tools that help me find more constructive ways to deal with anxiety. I will write more about this as I have more progress to report on.

The biggest news happened today. I suppose I should stop beating around the bush, eh? My three months is up. You know, the three months my doctor gave me to reverse my Type II Diabetes diagnosis? I had my blood work done last week and I had my appointment to talk about it with my doctor about the results today. Are you ready for this? My doctor high fived me! For realz!

Dudes! I totally reversed the diabetes and I don’t have it anymore! I am not a diabetic! Fuck yes! In three months time I lowered my A1C from 6.6 to 6.1, and my fasting blood sugar went from 238 to 125. Furthermore, my cholesterol levels, and everything else they tested were all excellent (I never have high cholesterol. Thank you for that gene, Grandpa Simmons!). Oh! And I have lost 16.5 pounds too (that is 5.5 lbs a month, or 1 ¾ lbs a week)! My doctor was so excited and impressed that she was almost jumping up and down when she came into the room.

I am still in what they call the “pre-diabetic” range, but I am no longer a diabetic and I kicked this shits ass. My doctor and I talked a lot about continuing with this forward momentum I have built. My next goal is to get my A1C and blood sugar levels down to normal range. I see her again in October so that gives me another three months.

Honestly, I was starting to feel very nervous about all of this and it really got me into a depressive funk. I wasn’t sure I had done it. I know I made major changes and that I did really well with exercising, but I didn’t know if it was enough. I was afraid of what failure to reach this goal would do to me emotionally. I wasn’t perfect over the last three months. I still had goodies once in a while. I still ate more than I should have on occasion. I still drank every so often. Sometimes I didn’t even do these things in moderation. But when I knew I screwed up I didn’t spend a lot of time beating myself up and wallowing in it. I just moved forward.

This talk with my doctor today, and this accomplishment made me realize something. I have struggled with my weight for 19 years because for 19 years I have focused on the big picture; the vision of reaching my ultimate goal. I could only see the “after” in my head and when you are so focused on where you want to be, it is all too easy to lose sight of the way to get there. My past failures have been because I felt hopeless… like I would never achieve that goal so far out of my grasp. I would slip up and then beat myself up and then fall right back into my old, terribly bad, but comforting habits. But taking things one step at a time… by making a smaller, more reachable goal, I was able to succeed. I wasn’t working toward fitting into a pair of jeans that haven’t fit me in nearly 20 years. I was working toward a goal that would bring results quickly. I was working toward something that wasn’t just about my appearance or being “good enough”. I was working toward beating a serious threat to my health that I had the power to change. And this, my friends, is how I am going to reach my goal weight after two decades of failing miserably.

In the next three months, as I already mentioned, I will be working to get out of the pre diabetes zone and into normal A1C and fasting blood sugar ranges. Then in the next three months I would like to work toward reaching the weight my sleep therapist says I should be at before we do another sleep study to see if my sleep apnea goes away entirely (so I can stop using that damned machine) or improves enough that he needs to make pressure adjustments. Then in the next three months I would like to work at getting off of the prescription I take for this stupid water retention issue that I have (because losing weight will get rid of or drastically help this problem). After those three months have passed I will have reached the one year anniversary of the beginning of my journey and I will have made four pretty major achievements.

Yes I am counting pounds lost, because they do matter, but that is not my sole focus. My focus is my health. Three months ago, for the first time in my life, I experienced a health scare that I have control over. This is real shit, yo. I don’t want to be a diabetic. I don’t want all of the risks and dangers that go along with being a diabetic. And because of all of my hard work over the last three months I am able to tell you today that I AM NOT A DIABETIC. And a year from now I will be able to tell you that I am not a diabetic; not even in danger of developing diabetes, not a sleep apnea sufferer (Well, if the weight loss makes that go away. I have always had sleep issues and the apnea may not have been caused by my weight alone, but we will cross that bridge when we come to it.), not on any medications for any reason, and I am that much closer to my goal weight (or maybe I will have even reached my goal weight by that time).

I will keep posting about my progress, struggles, and triumphs. I don’t think I will be posting such detailed highs and lows and numbers as I did the first three months, but I will keep talking about this because I want every single one of you to understand that if I can do this, so can you. Life isn’t always pretty. Achieving goals isn’t easy because it isn’t supposed to be, but you can do it. You can do anything! And so can I!

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2 Comments

Posted by on July 14, 2014 in So this happened today...

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

2 responses to “Moment of Truth #1, Bitches!

  1. Karen

    July 15, 2014 at 8:11 am

    I am so happy for all that you believe in yourself! WAY TO GO KATIE! I watched my aunt die from complications from her diabetes that could have been fixed if she had your spirit. It was very sad and was my first ah-ha moment about my own health and habits and my family’s health and what I don’t want to pass to my daughter. Thanks for sharing your words, spirit and enthusiasm. I have too decided that after 20 years of steady weight gain and muscle disappearing that I must do something different and am slowly (key word) doing that. Best of luck for each day, week and month forever!

     
  2. Karen Isaacson

    July 15, 2014 at 9:08 am

    fantastic! congratulations.

     

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dualdiagnosisparent

Riding the waves of dual-diagnosis as a parent.

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